Finally, a finished short story

I have finally finished the short story that I have been Blogging about. I am not thrilled with the ending, but it seems to work well enough. One thing that would upset a Beta Reader is that I do much more telling than showing. Some of the parts, the story about Jacob and the story about John The Baptizer, have to be told rather than shown. However, a great deal of the interactions between Alexie and Jack could use a major injection of dialogue, especially the portions on Sunday when they are having such a progressively more and more romantic time together.

Then there is the portion concerning Alexie and her family when she returns home. That is too much telling and not enough showing, as well. Again, it would take much more dialogue and interactions between family members. To do all of that properly would take more than a short story.

Of course, if you actually showed what was going on in Jake’s life before his boat blows up and what is really going on where Alexie works along with showing rather than telling what happens in as many of the other portions of the story as possible, then you would have more than enough story for a complete novel. It might be a shorter novel, as opposed to something like War And Peace or Dr. Zhivago, but it would still be enough story for a little novel.

As it is, with the telling I’ve done coupled with the examples of a person named Jacob and one named John, my short story has stretched out to about 30 formatted pages. In my estimation, that is a bit of a long short story, but it is only about 3 to 4 chapters out of one of my 30 chapter books. I guess that makes it fine.

I will post the story here, so all of you can read it. When you do, leave me a comment about what you think of the story. Be honest about it. If you like it, GREAT! … However, … if you hate it, be sure to tell me why in detail. I need the feedback if I am going to improve as a writer.

Until later!



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